How Long?
by Alive At Last
Summary: How long does it take three greasers to get kicked out of a store? Not long considering who you're dealing with.


How long does it take three greasers to get kicked out of a store? No long considering who you're dealing with.

* * *

"Darry! Me, Stevie, and Two-Bit are going to Target!" Soda called through the house. Steve, Two-Bit, and he was standing at the door, waiting for Darry to call back.

"Why?" he asked, exposing himself through the kitchen door.

"To look around. We haven't been there in a good time, and we wanna see how much it changed," Two-Bit explained. Steve and Soda were exchanging glances that Darry didn't catch. He looked at the three younger greasers for a moment before thinking if they could burn down the store. Concluding that they couldn't, he forced on a smile.

"Go ahead. Who's car are you taking?"

"Steve's," Soda said before Two-Bit could suggest something that might give them away. Darry shrugged.

"How long are ya'll going to be?"

"Not too long, maybe nine at the latest," Steve said.

"Go ahead and don't cause any trouble."

With that, the three of them high fived behind Darry's turning back. They raced out of the house and into Steve's waiting car. Steve started it and sped out of the driveway onto the main road. While driving, Two-Bit and Soda got into a bet of who would be kicked out first. Steve yelled at them to shut up, so they started singing to the radio. Very out of tune, mind you, but it was surely funny for Steve to endure.

They approached Target, scanning the parking lot for a spot. Steve slid into a spot right up front; before he came to a complete stop, Two-Bit hopped out, nearly killing himself in the process. But he didn't die, which was pretty good for him. He decided to put on a one-man show in the middle of the parking lot which included mostly dancing and a little bit of singing. A lot of heads turned to watch, most of which were little old people or kids.

Now that the car was parked, Steve, Soda, and Two-Bit all ran at full blast into the store and raced down the aisles. Soda, for some reason, went to the clothing section, Steve to the balls, and Two-Bit to the bikes.

Soda grabbed a pink dress and examined it before sliding off his shirt right there in front of everyone and putting it on over his jeans. He found a pair of pink heels and slid them on, after removing his tennis shoes. He put his shoes and shirt in a large purse and slung it over his shoulder. Stumbling down the aisles, he asked out loud, "How the hell could girls walk in these?" Eyes followed him, making him laugh out at their expressions.

Steve found a basket ball and a hoop, then began to shoot hoops, missing a lot of them. With each one he missed, it hit something on the shelves, knocking it down. He got a little mad that no attention was being drawn to him, so he looked up at the hoop. After checking that the hoop was strong enough, he put the basketball in the hood of his jacket and jumped up, grabbing the net. He then pulled himself up to he was hanging onto the rim. Then, he swung his legs up and got to a point where he was sitting in the rim, bouncing the basketball from the top of the hoop to the ground and back up, surely gaining a lot of attention.

Two-Bit examined the bikes throughly before choosing a small, blue bike made for a child about six years old. He hopped on, noticing his knees almost hit his chin if he pedaled hard enough. He slid his arms between his legs to hold the handles and began pumping his feet hard. Soon, he was racing through the aisles, dodging little kids and their mothers, yelling "MOVE IT!" to each of them and laughing evilly. He made a sharp turn around a corner, resulting in falling off of the bike and sliding into a shelf. Groaning, he got up into a sitting position and realized what was above him. Steve looked down at him from the orange hoop, smiling.

"That's your way of getting kicked out, Two-Bit?" he asked with an 'I knew it' grin plastered to his face. Two-Bit sneered as he got to his feet.

"And that's any better?" he asked. Steve kicked his legs back and forth like a little kid.

"Of course. But I lost my ball."

"Well, you still have one, my friend," shot Two-Bit, earning a growl.

"Not like that! My basketball."

"Oh... ok."

Two-Bit grabbed another basketball for Steve as a man in a dress approached them. It took them a moment to realize it was Sodapop. It took all Two-Bit had to keep from busting up laughing. Steve already broke that bubble, laughing so hard he didn't notice himself sliding further into the rim. Soda lifted the pink sunglasses he had swiped from a shelf off of his face and gave them a girly smile.

"Question: Am I pretty?" he asked before laughing hard.

"Yes, Soda, and if I didn't know better, I mighta hit on ya," Two-Bit raved happily. Soda laughed along with Steve, who still didn't stop. Finally, he noticed what happened and stopped.

"Um... guys?" he asked, pushing up on the rim.

"Yeah, Steve?" Two-Bit asked. He bounced the ball for a moment.

"This may sound odd, but I'm stuck." Two-Bit and Soda looked at each other for a moment before breaking out in laughter. "Guys, it ain't funny!" Steve barked. Two-Bit and Soda shut up instantly.

"How can we get you out?" Soda asked.

"I have no fucking clue."

"Hey, hey, Steve. This is a family store. No foul language!" Two-Bit scolded. Steve flicked him off angrily. "Anyways, how about we either climb up and push him out, or put something under him and push him down?" he suggested. Soda shrugged.

"Which one, Steve? Either we push your ass up or we push your head down, hard."

"I'd rather go up, but you ugly-ass guys would ruin my rep if I let you touch me," he said with a grin.

"Alright then, bye Steve," Two-Bit said, grabbing the bike and getting on. "Want a ride, miss? I'll let you ride on my handle bars," he asked Soda, who busted up laughing again.

"Aw, c'mon guys, don't leave me hangin'!" Steve begged. Two-Bit stood on the pedals to look over Soda, who was on his handle bars, and looked at Steve.

"We'll be back later, with better looking guys," he said before pedaling off. Steve yelled after them, but Two-Bit kept going.

Steve, now left hanging in midair, kicked his legs again and pushed up on the rim. It was no use. A store employee came up with a box, and looked up at Steve, who was whistling a tune. She looked up at him; he looked back at her.

"Hey, how ya doin'?" he asked with a little wave. She looked at him for a moment.

"What are you doing up there, kid?" she asked with an annoyed tone.

"Ya know, hangin' out," he answered, kicking his legs again. He looked up at the ceiling before letting off the signal used by the Shepard gang and their gang, a whistle long and low, ending in a sudden high note.

Two-Bit and Soda's heads jerked up at the loud whistle ringing through the store. Both got off of the bike and tossed it aside, then took off in a brisk run back to the basketball hoops. When they got there, they saw Steve still in the hoop and a few employees around under him.

"What's goin' on?" Soda asked.

"This kid is violating store policy, and he needs to leave as soon as he get's down," one man said. Two-Bit saw the manager's badge on him and rolled his eyes.

"We can get him down," Two-Bit offered, "without breaking anything, I hope."

"Go ahead and try." He and the other employees backed away, some going back to work and other staying to watch. Two-Bit and Soda exchanged looks before deciding Two-Bit was the only one nimble enough to jump up there to help Steve down. Two-Bit jumped up, grabbing onto the net, and hooked his legs on the backboard, which was smaller than normal hoops.

"Can we get a mattress or something to catch him if he falls?" he asked, looking at them upside down. A couple of employees went off to grab something, coming back with a couple of large pillows. Shows how much they care. Anyways, Two-Bit went back to helping Steve. He pushed his hand through the net and up at Steve's backside before giving a firm push. He felt Steve go up a little, so he tried again. He gave another firm push, sending Steve flying out of the hoop and onto the pillows below with a rough landing. Two-Bit hung upside down for a little bit, laughing hard.

"Um, guys. I'm glad he's out and all, but ya'll have to leave now," the manager said with a stern voice. Two-Bit flipped off of the backboard, landing on his ass hard. Soda was chuckling as helped up Steve from the floor. Two-Bit got himself up and brushed himself off. He saluted the manager before stalking off with a little jump in his step. Soda and Steve went another direction, avoiding Two-Bit and getting out before him. They waited for a little bit by the car until Steve noticed what Soda was still wearing.

"You didn't take off the dress, Soda," he said. Soda looked down and grinned.

"Guess not." He smoothed it down with a hand, making Steve laugh. "But I look good in it, right?"

"Sure thing, Soda," he said, rolling his eyes.

Finally, Two-Bit came dashing out of the store, riding the little blue bike and full speed. Steve and Soda watched with their mouths wide open as half of the employees from Target chased after him, yelling and making a huge racket. Two-Bit rode out of sight, making them give up and walk back. Steve and Soda quickly got in the car and followed their friend. He was riding down the sidewalk when they got to him. Ringing the bell, Two-Bit looked up at them and grinned.

"Hey, grease, need a ride?" Soda called.

"Sure thing, girly," he shot back. Soda threw a heel at him; Two-Bit dodged, barely keeping on the bike. Steve pulled over and let Two-Bit in quickly before speeding off. All three were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe. When it all calmed down, Two-Bit looked at Steve and clamped a hand on his shoulder.

"You loose, Stevie," he said with a grin. Steve flicked him off for the second time today as they drove in Darry's driveway. Stumbling out, they quickly went inside, Two-Bit carrying the bike on his shoulder. Darry wasn't in the living room, only Dally and Johnny were.

"What the...?" but Dally didn't finish cause Soda jumped on his lap.

"Like my dress?" he asked, crossing his legs.

"Are you drunk?"

"No, Dally."

"Then what's wrong with you, kid?"

"Just had the most fun of my life!" he wailed, jumping off of Dally and into the armchair.

"What did ya'll do?" he asked, interested.

"Well, we went to Target to see how long it would take to get us kicked out. Soda put on a dress, Two-Bit rode a bike around the whole place, and I sat in a basketball hoop," Steve explained.

"Steve got stuck in the hoop, so the employees came over and told him he was breaking policy," Soda continued.

"I had to climb up and push poor ol' Stevie out of the hoop so we wouldn't leave him there. After he was out, they kicked us out. So to get back at them, Soda took the dress and I took the bike."

"Good plan," Dally said, grinning. "So Steve got stuck?"

"Yes, Steve got stuck. And it was priceless!" Soda wailed.

"How long did it take to get kicked out?" Johnny asked. Two-Bit looked at his watch for a second.

"About... less than an hour."


End file.
